
Last week we talked about dysfunctional rescuing, when good intentions around supporting employees from marginalized groups can go wrong. When we fail to give an employee critical feedback (due to our own discomfort), we’re not being equitable. In fact, we are cheating them of the opportunity to grow and reach their full potential.
So how do you make sure you’re giving honest, constructive feedback across difference, when you might be feeling sensitive about sounding discouraging?
Try these four reminders before, during, and after each development conversation.
1. Pause. Bias is our brain’s shortcut in times of stress or time pressure. So slowing down and taking time is always the first step to keeping those prejudices at bay. Take a moment and consciously remind yourself of some of the mental habits you want to watch out for, from broad habits like affinity bias to learned cultural stories around age, gender, race, or ability.
2. Get Perspective. Get additional opinions. Pay attention to feedback from others that goes against your own beliefs and experience. That may indicate places where your own mental models are undervaluing your employee’s strengths.
3. Pay Attention. When phrasing your feedback, be precise in your language. Words like “professionalism,” “cultural fit,” and “articulate” frequently mask bundles of biases. Dig deeper to the concrete skills that are truly required to succeed. Just as importantly, pay attention to the person you’re evaluating during the conversation. Ask questions and listen to their responses. Ask the person to repeat back what they heard and assess whether the person took in what you thought you were saying.
4. Be Proactive. In between each feedback opportunity, practice examining your team using an equity lens. Who do you find it easy to give feedback to (and not)? Who isn’t being included in professional and social connections? Use microaffirmations to spotlight the contributions and skills of those who may be excluded, and find ways to bring them in to meetings, projects, and decision-making conversations.
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