We have been using the word “microaggressions” a lot in recent years—but it’s actually an old term.
It was coined by psychiatrist Dr. Chester Pierce about 50 years ago to differentiate racist physical violence and overt discrimination—just plain “aggression”—from more subtle, everyday slights that members of minority groups faced. Hence, microaggression.
These small or inadvertent behaviors are different from everyday rudeness for three reasons:
They single a person out for a difference based on their personal identity. Even compliments like “Your English is so good” or “Can I touch your hair?” may have an upsetting effect, because they reinforce assumptions and stereotypes about being something other than “the norm.”
They are ubiquitous. Asian Americans seem to be asked “Where are you from?” much more than white Americans are, for instance, so they may feel constantly reminded that they don’t appear to belong here.
The person committing them often has no idea they have done anything wrong. Microaggressions are a manifestation of implicit bias. The person didn’t intend to cause harm—but their words or behavior revealed their biases. When called on their comment, the speaker is likely to defend their intent. This makes it very difficult for a person on the receiving end to give feedback, receive an apology, and feel confident the behavior will change.
These three make a frustrating combination. You feel an insult that you know is related to your identity. You’ve heard it numerous times, from various people. And when you say something, people say “You’re being oversensitive! I didn’t mean anything by it! It was a compliment!”
No wonder this phenomenon contributes to chronic stress and serious health problems.
And at work, it contributes to burnout, disengagement, and turnover. If your colleagues compulsively slight you, even unconsciously, it’s hard to concentrate and do your best work. If they won’t listen to feedback or make changes to accommodate how you feel, why not find an organization where they will?
Having a sense of belonging is a fundamental part of a healthy organizational culture. Understanding microaggressions—how to avoid them, and more importantly, how to talk about them without getting defensive—is essential to extending that belonging to everyone.
And if someone tells you you’ve committed one, remember: it’s not about your intentions. You might have intended to compliment someone, but your words clearly had a different impact.
So, listen, apologize, and try to do better. That mindset makes all the difference in the world.